Barbara Lazaroff

Barbara Lazaroff, great successes as a groundbreaking American restaurateur and interior designer haven't come with out a price. But her amazing life adventure has been worth the ride.

A generous, inspirational mentor. It's what everyone hopes for in this life, especially when they start - or switch - their careers. Yet so few find that unique, uplifting figure who is ready and willing to light the way for up-and-coming success stories. Too bad they hadn't met Barbara Lazaroff. With a candor and a kindness that is singularly awesome, the famed American restaurateur and interior designer is not shy about sharing her hard-won life lessons and professional insights.

"I want women to know that building anything worth wild is going to be hard work," says Lazaroff, the president of Imaginings Interior Design, Inc. Lazaroff should know.

The creative force behind such acclaimed hot spots as Spago Hollywood, Spago Beverly Hills, Chinois on Main, Chinois Las Vegas, Eureka and Granita, Lazaroff, along with ex-husband Wolfgang Puck, transformed the celebrity "it" spot over the last 20 years with their signature brand of uber cool. Even from the 1980 launch of Puck's first book, "Modern French Cooking for the American Kitchen," to building their multi-million dollar brand Lazaroff was there rolling up her sleeves every step of the way. But those high-flying achievements didn't come without a price. "I remember jobs like Granita in Malibu where I'd work triple shifts. I'd sleep on concrete floors on site. It was crazy," says Lazaroff, who spent 15 years going without sleep, traveling like mad to supervise construction at new locations, being a mother to their two sons and working on behalf of charitable organizations - most notably the Wolfgang Puck Foundation, which is dedicated to raising money for the Meals on Wheels program. But in December of 2002, the seemingly indefatigable media couple filed for divorce after 20 years of marriage.

"I'm proud that I managed to stay sane through a very difficult divorce," says Lazaroff, who went through enormous changes as a result. "We closed down restaurants. I had to fight for things and pay things off. But I still raised my two boys. I went on as I watched my closest friend die from cancer. I also made my way into a nice relationship with a very good man. But it wasn't easy." As Lazaroff says, "We women face so many struggles in our lives, whether we're reentering the work force after having our kids or shifting career gears in midstream. You don't always have the balance you want in life, as any working mother will tell you. You're not always going to be happy and you won't be able to please everyone. But you've got to work at it if you want to excel. To think otherwise is just plain wrong."

Career Confidential

"Every career is a journey. Some are more linear. Mine would be more circuitous," says the stunning brunette who once dreamed of becoming a ballerina. While that ambition later gave way to designing and becoming an actress, Lazaroff still had to work three jobs, land a scholarship and a government loan to attend NYU. "My eldest son is going to college in Boston now. He won't have to worry about working or paying tuition. But that was my reality," says the South Bronx native. "Trust me. I've taken great pains to make sure my sons appreciate how lucky they are." Yet Lazaroff's prodigious work ethic is based on simple idea. "I never ask anyone to worker any harder than I do," she says. "My mom worked, took care of three kids and managed a house. One time she was working in Manhattan as an accountant and didn't come home until one in the morning. Yet she still laid out our clothes and checked our homework. I really give her a lot of credit."

Playing With The Big Boys

As for building a career with that proverbial five-year plan, Lazaroff says, "That's more of a concern to me now that I'm past my 50 year mark. Frankly, I'm surprised more by myself at this age rather than where I am in my career." From college classes to career situations Lazaroff was always the youngest person in the room. Then one day she woke up and realized things had changed. "Suddenly I was the oldest person in the room and it was my turn to mentor," says Lazaroff. Yet looking at her younger colleagues in this new light was a revelation. "You think you know so much when you're young. But when you're standing at 40, 50, 60 or what have you it's a very different place," says Lazaroff. "You look around and realize that these young people - many of whom feel so entitled today - have so much to learn."

One big lesson to note, of course, is that big boys don't always play nice in the career arena. "We women have to work harder and be better educated to get ahead. It still works that way. In fact, as much as I adore men there are those who would still like to keep women earning 64 cents on the dollar while they make 74 cents," she says. Yet playing in the big leagues doesn't mean diminishing your sense of right and wrong. "We are all morally responsible for doing the right thing even when people aren't looking," says Lazaroff. "You can earn all the money in the world, but to build a career - or a life for that matter - by compromising your conscience or ethics isn't worth it."

Girl Power

A supporter of Hillary Clinton, Lazaroff says, "When you're climbing up the ladder you better look back and extend your hand, especially when you start writing the cheques. Some women might say nobody helped me and that's unfortunate. But you've got to look back. These women are our sisters, daughters, aunts and mothers. We owe them a hand up." To prove that point Lazaroff mentions Hamburger Hamlet entrepreneur Marilyn Lewis. One of the first female CEOs of a multi-million dollar American company, Lewis was also among the first to hire women of colour. "Before diversity was the big buzzword Marilyn was giving these women a job and training them so they could raise their families. She was giving them a sense of dignity," says Lazaroff. "You know it's all very lovely to compliment ourselves on our Manolo Blahniks - and trust me I have quite a collection. But if more women bonded together and fraternized the way men do through organizations they could do a lot to ensure that every daughter understands the importance of education. It's the key to sustaining themselves in today's world."

Independence Day

With 50 to 60 percent of marriages ending up in divorce, the sad fact is that white women with children now comprise the fastest growing population of individuals living at the poverty line. "We need to make women understand that they do a real disservice to themselves if they're not prepared for life," says Lazaroff. "If that knight in shining armour comes along and it works out that's great. But you don't know how long they're staying. That's why women need to take care of their own finances. If divorce should ever find them they've got to understand what's going on so they can take care of themselves and their children."

Yet as difficult as divorce can be, Lazaroff's advice is to see it as an opportunity.

"What I did for Wolfe for many years was to build a brand. Now I'm doing it for myself," says Lazaroff. Busy today designing products and developing a new TV show the irrepressible entrepreneur says, "I'm spending more and more time thinking of positive alternatives that I'd put on the back burner for a long, long time."

Bad Girls Behaving Badly

But in that mad divorce/career mix Lazaroff has also reached some strong conclusions about other ways in which women to a great disservice to themselves. "I think the morality of our country has gone down so much. I just heard today of another big chef leaving his wife for a 25 year old girl," she says. "Men take their vows and are mostly to blame for betraying them. But young women must understand that when they get involved with a married man with children they're not just promoting their own future. They're destroying a family. They're destroying the children. While people may not want to hear it", says Lazaroff, "the reality is that when a 20-year-old girl says she's in love with a 60-year-old man she's usually more in love with his wallet." As Lazaroff says, "You'll always here those stories - he wasn't happy at home. Fair enough. Let the man have his divorce. But he's still a father. He still has to take care of his children." Yet sadly so many men look the other way.

"Women who take the easy route to fame and fortune are doing a disservice to all their sisters," says Lazaroff. "Maybe these girls do it out of laziness, insecurity, inadequacy or sheer stupidity? Who knows? But nothing is more important than your personal integrity. Women who take that fast route into money and society should remember that - and the fact that there is karma in this life."

Success In Spades

"Success is measured by so many different standards in today's world. Some people think it's all about the clothes they have on their backs, the big home or big career. But for me it's how I feel about myself on the inside," says Lazaroff. "Sometimes it takes adversity to come into your life and force you to change your path," she says. "But when you do and reach that point where you feel good about yourself again you realize the journey was truly worth it." As Lazaroff says, "I have the nice house, the clothes, the art collection and I won't lie to you. I enjoy it all. But I like that fact more than I'm a loyal friend. I'm a good daughter. I'm an honest person. What's more I never stepped on anyone in order to succeed."

At the end of the day, "Nothing in this world makes me feel more proud or successful than having raised two good kids who know the difference between right and wrong - particularly in a society today that is laden with such frightening behavior." says Lazaroff. " But there's this old saying. You come here and leave with nothing. What my kids think of me, what my friends think of me, how I sit with my own conscience and how I behave right here right now is what matters most."

Barbara Lazaroff's 10 Big Tips To Live By

1. Make sure you have credit in your own name.

2. Make sure you'll always have enough money in the bank to be able to walk away from a job or situation if your integrity or values are being compromised.

3. Have an attorney look at everything in your life that is of importance.

4. Never sacrifice good character to get ahead. "One of my favourite expressions goes like this. A person's true character and integrity is based on how they act when no one is watching," says Lazaroff. "A lot of people put on a good show, but how you behave when nobody will see your hard work is the real measure of good character."

4. Every type of work is valuable deserves respect. "In Beverly Hills you often see rich kids screaming at the people who work for their parents and treating them with such disrespect," says Lazaroff. "Every job is important. When I'm asked why I pay the person who looks after my kids so much money I say why wouldn't I. How can you not be generous to the person taking care of your child?"

5. Success and financial security are two different things. Don't confuse the two. "So many people in our society judge success in terms of what you have on your back, what you're driving, particularly in this town. I enjoy nice things and I have a lot," says Lazaroff. "But only later in life do you realize that things don't necessarily bring you happiness."

6. Be prepared for your life. "Women need to be as educated as they can to get ahead today," says Lazaroff. "Whether that's doing continuing education or getting your first degree, always try to learn and grow.

7. Always remember that you have been blessed in life. "We all go through tough times," says Lazaroff. "But that's when you've got to take a look around and be grateful. You'll always find someone worse off than you."

8. Other women are your sisters. "I'm a woman's woman," says Lazaroff. "That's why I feel it's so important to mentor, to help when you can and to guide people along the way. Economically, educationally and morally women have an obligation to be more of sisterhood."

9. Never forget your family responsibilities. "As parents it's so important to do everything within our means to raise the best adults we can. But we can't forget our obligations to our aging parents," says Lazaroff. "I'm very proud of being a good daughter. I only wish more people could feel the same."

10. Work for it. From growing up in the South Bronx to living in Queens and Long Island Lazaroff says, "I come from having to work for it, just like so many other women. It's the only way to excel at anything. If you don't believe that you're doing yourself a real disservice."

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